At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
