hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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