the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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