so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
