I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
