operation harelip BJ is a go
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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