what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize