I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
