he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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