I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
