I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
