dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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