God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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