so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
