I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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