The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
