Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
