Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
