Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
