Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
