On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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