i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
