Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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