you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
