Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
