We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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