a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
