Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
