what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
