You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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