last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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