I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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