I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
