I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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