i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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