Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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