Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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