Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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