Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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(970): View more from Colorado

went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night

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