you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
