its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
