I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
