It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
