I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
home. puking in laundry basket.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
