there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So apparently I’m into choking now
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
