I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
