Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
