that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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