i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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