my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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