wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
