all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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