sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
