woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize