Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
