I want to stick my p in your. b.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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