i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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