it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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