i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My penis needs a shock collar
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
