I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I am naked and annoyed.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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