I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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