I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
