Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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