I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
