worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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