Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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