Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
